celdragon

Been a long time since I wrote anything in the journal over here.

Just havent felt like an interesting object for others, depression kinda do that with one.
Commission list is also stressing me out .. got friends waiting for their pics since 2 years and still havent drawn those pics. 
Even tho I drawn few pics to start my interest in drawing again, still not feel the same and not sure I can blame it anylonger on the last antidepress meds I took. 

Are seeing docs anew tho and visited friends and hanging with family. 
So ...will hopefully feel better soon. 

Sorry for all the silence on here. 

Hmm maybe I should not give a damn to tagg others .. never seem to work when I do it
I know I haven't uploaded anything for a while, just don't feel to showcase sketches and I don't draw so often as I should to keep my skills up

Even playing less rp in real life so my char aren't getting drawn as much either.

New vows for the year is to stress and worry less, stop trying to work up for others likes and just be myself and no one else.
Had to cut my hair short, really short since the stress had begun leaving marks instead of grey hair .. HAH gonna be 25 and started to get bald on my head as a guy.
Less cost for shampoo and balsam tho.

Walk around more as well, maybe should grab the camera with me incase I find something that I can use for drawings.

just be content with myself and work from there.

I got tagged by

1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 10 people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.

1)I love fantasy and myths
2)I love my cats (got 2 ^^)
3)I love rpg
4)I like climbing trees
5)To swim under the surface, watching and imagien I am flying ^~^ weeee
6)I like watching a good movie with someone close
7)hehe giving a cold hands over people's backs .. watch out, I get ice cold fingers
8)I love drinking tea, especialy red tea
9)spaggetti-soup!!!
10)Love manga/anime

Tagging my friends
1.
2.
3. =^~^=
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9. >.> little sister but I am adding you
10. deserve to be tagged as well

Back from the vacation that was under 12 to 23 oct, which I really needed.
Did not want to fly back home either, that place made me so damn relaxed and have a good time which is hard for me to have most of the time.
Learned few things, about myself and others .. that there are nice people and not looking to hurt one.
The hard part starts from now on, to keep that fact close to my mind and go with it, not be stepped on or go into the shadows to not feel like a bother or be afraid. Been afraid to long of my life for many things that are so easily to ask for.
Just like one fact that I achived without panicking that I would run from, a concert ...  I went on a concert and stayed there the whole time on it!!! I have been on two others that made me so scared that I ran away and hyperventilated (once) but this one, a metal/goth/rock/industrial concert with one person that I could relaxed with. I stayed and had a good time, even screamed with the rest of the people when the playing group asked for us to be voiced.
Deathstars .. one really good band from the country I live in, I got to see them live X3

I even got to try on the harring over there, raw fish with sliced onion, not my cup of tea but I tasted it.
Some belgian waffle as well ... and damn it was hard to eat it with the plastic fork/knife you get but very tasty and heavy for the stomach.

if you can't guess where I was, it was in Netherlands and it was alot warmer then Sweden was and friendlier ... I could not detect the usual stress you can watch on the people running over here.

Learning to trust takes a great deal for me and then be able to get enough courage to travel alone over to a place where you have no connection to get you home on the same day if needed.
I have now done it once and proud over it since it was with friends that I  befriended over one year and 2-3 months before doing this trip.
Got to see and meet good friends face to face and if I get a chance to travel again, I know where I will go.


...Got more places and friends that I hope to see one day, especialy one guy that I really want to be with ... just the damn distance between him and me and the cost T-T
But it will happen, one day.